#13 – Post-Trauma Thoughts (post)

Post-Trauma Thoughts

I saw you tonight and I trembled

In my shoes.

My body stayed shaken for well over

Twenty minutes, and I

Couldn’t stop myself. Even when

I walked down and said, “Thank you”

On my way out.

Had I saw you earlier – saw you in that

Tired state – I probably would have said,

“Look up,

Come to me. I’ll give you my seat

So that you can sleep.”

I would have let you rest your head instead

Of my fatigued figure –

Tired from the tears I have teared

For you, and the cries I have cried that have mourned

For me.

And while it has soaked up all the courage I can muster

To do everything I have done – things I once swore never

To do to anyone – and if I ever make out another,

“Thank you”

With my lips, I am thankful for the supernatural being

That has possessed me to love you like this; convinced

That I have dug myself into a dark abyss, and the rope

You fed me lacks the integrity

To carry the weight of your lies that burdens me.

In the depths of a self-perpetuating salty sea,

I am an anchor

Heavy enough to keep myself submerged, yet

Too small to steady the ship she’s

Tied to.

Am I the girl you once met, but (you)

Never (knew?)

(You) loved?

With love,

Emily.

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